By: Shawn Davis
I’m baaaaaaaaaaack! I thought about making some sort of grand proclamation of my return to this lovely space but I couldn’t come up with one witty enough so I’ll just be direct as it pertains to my absence: My mind was in a malaise, of sorts. After spending my birthday on the beautiful island of Puerto Rico – a vacation that was well-deserved but far too short – I’ve had a tough time readjusting to the speed of NYC. Work on other projects have also kept me away from spending time here but it feels awesome to post once again. Hopefully, I haven’t turned you – my awesome readers – away.
There are times when we all get caught up in what’s happening presently in our lives – at the expense of the perspective which can be gained by taking the time to examine why those very things are occurring. We all do it! Part of the reason I was away was because I was guilty of just existing in the present – and unfortunately, too consumed with the past – without living and contemplating why the present has set up in the way that it has. Basically I wasn’t looking at things for what they were, instead I was beating myself up in one sense and doubting my decisions (both past and present) the next. Bad mix.
Sometimes you just have to move forward. Look forward. But just MOVE FORWARD.
I’ve been saying that statement to myself for far too long – to the point where I’m sick of it – but its purpose is to move the process along; my progress, if you will. You know how there are times things are obvious but we tend to ignore them? Shake your head. You also know how sometimes you need to hear something from a complete stranger as opposed to someone already in your life for it to stick? A friend could tell you something until they want to smack you for being despondent but you listen intently when a brief encounter includes the same message. Why is that? I think it’s a lack of perspective.
The other night I watched (500) Days of Summer – and I heard the statement I’ve been drilling into my very own head, while taking in the phenomenal piece of art that the movie was (don’t worry, this is not a movie review), as I soaked the film in. All too often we fail to accept what’s in front of us or we try to justify why things are so we can shield ourselves from the truth. I liked how the movie made it clear that it was a story of “boy meets girl” and not one about “love”, although the emotion was evident after a few minutes.
All of Tom’s efforts to earn the love of Summer couldn’t mask the fact that she was hesitant in ways that would always prove to be an obstacle for their long-term viability. He ignored vital, uh…flags if you will, all because of how he felt and he wanted no part of anything that would block him of earning her complete favor. He overlooked the present and justified the inadequacies in the relationship because he didn’t have the perspective to be analytical – to be honest with himself and the circumstance he was enthralled in.
In San Juan, I found myself making excuses, overlooking obvious shit and closing my ears to the things that are taking place in my life. Reason? I have no damn clue why. There’s this part of me that wants to sell all my material things, just pack up, travel the world – forgetting the life I have here – because I know it would be fun as hell, and my friends already think I’m about to anyway. Being totally honest, they aren’t wrong because it’s in my personality to do something like that and not lose a wink of sleep over it.
Moving forward is just the best medicine, I say. As in the movie, the best things are in the future and they will only reveal themselves once we let go of the past. I hope my best is yet to come (and maybe my Autumn as well).